Okay, time to get back to my story.
Oh yes, I left off on the family secret of me being adopted and no one ever spoke about it. Even though, I had so many questions, I constantly hesitated to ask my parents, brothers or any of my extended family because I was not sure if the questions would be answered. I didn’t ask out of consideration for others feelings and not taking my own feelings or needs into consideration. I’ve always been that person that always puts others needs before my own because that is who I am. It gets very frustrating..
So, before I even had the chance to start asking all these questions, that have been simmering in my head going round and round a new revelation came out and my mind was blown completely.
My husband and I decided to plan a trip to Mexico with our kids and of course I and my husband, our kids have to get a passport before we’re able to leave the country. So of course, I need my birth certificate I don’t have it so I had to ask my mom for it but the look on her face made my stomach sink. OH, NO. What now?
Well, not only was I adopted as a baby and find out about it on the day that I’m getting ready to get my marriage license but now I come to find out that I am not a U.S. citizen. What the Fuck, I’m sorry for the expletive, but those are the only words that come to mind and out of my mouth.
Here we go again..
Really, I don’t think I had a reaction to my mom’s revelation of me being adopted or could it be that I was shocked. What I do remember are the expressions on my soon to be husband and my soon to be mother in law’s faces; surprised, shocked, befuddled.
Why, did my mom choose this day to tell me that I was adopted? Why couldn’t she and my father have talked to me prior to? Did they hope that they would never need to tell me and were they hopeful that it would remain a secret forever? Were they afraid of how I would react? Do they know who my biological pa rents are? Do I have siblings?
I had these questions, but I always hesitated to ask them and all because I didn’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings. In my family nobody ever talked about it because it was a family secret. So, I decided to leave it alone and pretend that it never happened. Until….
There was so much more to my story…..
Imagine yourself at 18 years old, now imagine yourself hearing your mom telling you that you are adopted. All of this is happening while I am at the Superior Courthouse waiting to get a marriage license because I am pregnant and my parent (mom) will not allow me to cohabitate with baby daddy because it’s not the permissible (by her). Don’t get me wrong I grew up in a home with two parents that have been very loving throughout my life as a child and have continued to be through my adulthood. If your asking yourself “Did she get married”? Yes, I did and I have been married for 30 years now.
So I ask you, how does a young lady that graduated High School at 17 years old, pregnant, parents don’t know; hides her pregnancy until she no longer can, has to face the disappointment on her mother’s face due to the pregnancy, has to wait to turn 18 then wait for baby daddy to turn 18, 1 1/2 months after to go to the courthouse to get a marriage license and as if that is not enough; the topper that I am adopted. Imagine!